As students riot in the streets due to the firing of their beloved Coach Paterno, the rest of us must wonder what we do to promote or stop crimes against children. As we’ve learned, crimes against children occur when others look away and do not stand up to protect children. And by “looking away” I mean literally, after learning that McQueary saw a man raping a child in the shower and chose to walk away. Can anyone imagine the message that might have been sent to this little boy? Not only is he being raped but another man watches and does nothing? Can that little boy believe anything else other than how horrible, shameful and devalued he must be?
That’s the irony of abuse on children; they are the recipient of a criminal act and yet, they do not know how else to receive it other than a personal message of how they must deserve this action and the feelings associated with them. There is one deep emotional reason why a child feels it is somehow his or her fault for the abuse: control. Keep in mind that if the child realizes the truth, that there are depraved, horrible criminals lurking at every corner, that child will self destruct. How can a child in his weak little body protect himself against a formidable adult? Thus, the child’s mind would rather believe that he somehow had something to do with causing this in order to give himself the allusion of control and a chance of saving himself from the ills of the world.
The answer to this is a healthy parent that makes a child feel protected. The child does not have to blame himself if he knows that there is someone who will protect him from the criminals of society. But most sadly, children who are preyed on are those who tend to have parents who will not listen to their children’s voice, the words or behaviors that would clue the parent into the fact that there is danger in their child’s world. Too often, even clear words to a parent are met with statements like, “The coach would never do that” or “You must have misunderstood what he did.”
The best way of protecting our children is by listening carefully and never diminishing their voice when it comes to concerns about those around them. When there has been a crime committed against a child, all of us must make it clear immediately to that child that it is not his fault and some action must be taken to show that child that he will be protected in the future. We must stand together to create laws that obligate us to stand up for children or else we become a part of the problem and you’ll never guess where that could end.
Perhaps you didn’t see or hear about a tragedy in China that seems so beyond the human experience. It involved a two year old girl walking in front of a white truck and being run over by it. Oddly, the truck backs over the child (I’ve been told that the word on the street in China is that the driver wanted to make sure the child was dead in order to avoid an financial penalty) and then moves on. A dozen people pass the child in the street and another truck runs over the child. Someone pulls the child to the side of road and leaves the child there. Finally, a different pedestrian picks up the child and gets help. And this happens to this child in an alley outside her father’s hardware store. Maybe you don’t believe that this could happen in today’s society? See for yourself. It was all caught on a security camera. Please be aware of how graphic this video is. I forced myself to view it in small portions and will lose many hours of sleep due to it. Go to this CBS news site http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=7385111n.
Why should it be hard to believe this brutal action in China when so called “men” in the US refuse to come to the rescue of a young boy being raped causing an emotional death beyond belief. It’s time we get loud and demand changes in ourselves, our neighbors and our laws that compel us to protect our children. Anything less will result in some form of death in all of us.
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How Candidates Use Psychology on YOU
Voter Psychology
My brother called me and told me how impressed he was with Newt’s response at the last debate regarding his women. Newt stood up for himself and after all isn’t that what we need in a president?
What we probably need is someone with intelligent and creative policies that will help America but ironically, the vast majority of voters won’t be voting with that in mind, regardless of what they might think. In fact, I dare say that when you vote, it’s unlikely you will know more than 2 clear differences in your candidate’s policies. Sure, you may know this one is better for the environment or that one is more dedicated to creating jobs but you really don’t know with any clarity how each one may be planning on accomplishing any of that. Maybe you read each one’s “This is what I’m going to do for you” manifesto, but ultimately, it won’t decide your vote.
Your vote will be cast on one issue: your personal impression of character. Ridiculous? An intelligent voter should stick to policies? Really? But we’ve learned that policies are easily written and easily memorized and spit out as smooth soundbites (Rick Perry might disagree). Who’s to say that your candidate will follow through or is even planning to maintain his policies? That comes down to character; which candidate is going to make you feel that he is trustworthy, understands you and will behave the way you think a president should.
Thus begins the candidates’ fight for your psychology. How many debates are needed to learn everyone’s policies? We watch every debate not in the hope of some deeper understanding of policy but in the hope that some response will convince us that the man behind the policy is going to say something that will make us feel he’s presidential or not. If he can’t remember his policy (oops) or can appear strong in the face of confrontation, that could make the difference in your vote.
Newt cheated. It might make you feel that he’s untrustworthy. He knows that and that’s why he refers you to his daughters. After all, if they aren’t mad at him for it, why should you be? Unfortunately, we can’t talk to Mitt’s dog’s daughters for clarification. Do you feel more comfortable with a rich man or one less wealthy or one who’s rich but talks as if he’s not wealthy? Do you want a Washington outsider or insider and what exactly does that mean? It means whatever you have attributed to it. Does Mitt make you feel passionate? Newt seems passionate about anything. Does Mitt make you feel he understands you? Perhaps Newt is making you feel that he’ll fight for you. Perhaps, but let’s be clear, it has nothing to do with policy and everything to do with what the candidate can say or do to make you feel confident in him. And your candidates know it and will do everything they can to try to figure you out. We talk about the psychology of our candidates while our candidates are thinking about one thing and one thing only, the psychology of you.